Death, Storylines, And You
by Raena Lorezohaz
Summary: Robin gets fed up with how he gets treated in fics, and takes it out on the poor author.


Title: Death, Storylines, and You

Rating: PG-13

He chased them through the lower levels of Gotham, the dark, stinking, 

Hellish lower levels of Gotham. He was beginning to tire, his legs burning, 

his lungs a bonfire in his chest. The thugs were armed heavily, guns, chains, 

knives, and assorted other implements of pain. Just then, his foot hit an 

empty bottle of vodka and he tumbled to the ground. "Oh sh*t." When he tried 

to rise quickly and face his would-be attackers(now), his muscles screamed 

their protest. He hit the ground again with a muffled groan/scream of pain. 

The group of thugs closed in, murder in their eyes. 

"HOLD IT!" Everything stopped, the thugs stopped their advance, and looked 

slightly confused. Robin stood up slowly and stared at the sky. "HOLD 

EVERYTHING! WHY THE HELL AM I DYING?! It's not even HALFWAY through the fic!" 

The air rippled and a girl Robin's height with long dark-brown hair in baggy 

jeans and a Labyrinth t-shirt appeard. She held a laptop in one heavily ringed 

hand. 

"What's the problem with it?" she asked. 

"Why am *I* always the one to die?! Nobody ever picks this kind of stuff to 

happen to the others."

Raena shrugged. "It's a handy story-starter. It's mostly where you come from."

"Location, huh? What's that got to do with anything?" 

Raena sighed. Opening the laptop she pulled up a website. "See? Gotham is 

worse than NYC. It makes SENSE that you would die in the line of duty, rather 

than say, Bart. Besides, the Bat-clan is perhaps DC's best angst-magnet. You 

people attract angst like sugar to flies." 

Robin crossed his arms. "I still don't see why I can't go through an entire 

fic without being harmed in some way." 

"Look, lets talk about this. I really need to finish this fic." A pair of 

directors chairs materialized. They sat. The thugs looked VERY confused. " Hey 

guys, go for a beer or something, okay? Give us 10 minutes." The thugs walked 

off, looking tough.

"Okay. So I'm an angst mangnet. Anyway I can change that?"

"Well, you'd have to become MUCH less serious and brooding. Plus, you're a 

NICE GUY underneath that costume." Raena pointed a slightly accusing finger at 

Robin. "That combination SCREAMS angst. Hell, your own COMIC's stroylines 

aren't exactly angst free. Basicly you're a practicly ideal guy." Robin 

blushed slightly. "And that attracts angst. We females are stunned by your 

ability to take all KINDS of, well, sh*t, and still be a nice guy. We do it to 

test you."

Robin stared at Raena for a minute. "You mean the girls do it because they 

like me?" 

"Yeah."

"Now THERE's some warped logic."

"No kidding. No offence or anything, but I'm more of a Lobo kinda girl. You're 

cool, a GREAT basis for Darkness, but I guess out of consideration for you, 

I'm staying away from the angst stuff." 

"Yet you've got one involving my death and THIS." 

"Well, these seem to spring from the music I was listing to. The death one, 

the final boss theme from Final Fantasy 7. right now I'm listening to 

dark-soppky-eccliestical-sounding Xenosaga music. But at least you're dying to 

pretty music." Raena smiled.

"Hmph. Oh well. Any way you could possibly change this fic around? No death 

for me?" 

Raena reached into her pocket and pulled out a small black box with a red 

button on top. Written on the side in white letters was "Acme Plot Device". 

"I've got this. Should resolve everything." Raena smiled. 

Robin smiled in return. "Thanks." 

"One thing..."

"What?"

Raena reached oer and hugged him. "Hey you looked like you needed a hug." She 

grinned evilly. "And I wanted to see if I could make you blush."

Robin blushed profusely. 

"Heh. Go back to your place, I'll take it From here." The air rippled again 

and the girl vanished. Robin waled back to his spot just as the theugs arrived 

again. 

"Ready to die, birdy?" One particularly ugly thug asked. Robin was about 

to reply when the thug fell, uncouncious. Floating where the thug stood was 

Superboy. 

"How ya doing Rob?"

~~END~~~

authors notes: HA! had you fooled! had me fooled too. Oh well, Robin had his 

own ideas I guess. Too bad. To anyne who's curious, I really DO have a 

Labyrinth t-shirt. It's Jareth with one of his crystals on a sparkly 

background. Yay! Anyway, hope you liked!!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything by DC. ^^ I own this story. ^^

Raena J. Inverse-Lorezohaz Azul

"Nephil Child"

~*Member in good standing of the Atlas City Sorcerers Guild, Member of the 

Lindblum Theives Guild, Citizen of Cephiro, Owner of 'Estoceria' in Gotham 

City, Owner of a sub-space pocket, Clow Reed's Cousin. Proud Lobobo. Wonderer, 

Empressed. Founder, Was Bored Productions*~

"The Nephilim were on the earth in those days- and also afterward- when the 

sons of God went in to the daughters of humans, who bore children to them. 

These were the heroes that were of old, warriors of renown." -Gen. 6.4 

http://secret.batcave.net/ - Nephil Child (archive)

http://writerofstuff.blogspot.com/ - My Blog. YEEEAH!

http://wbp.batcave.net - Was Bored Productions 


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